I got to a meeting tonight! OMG, I needed that! I felt a huge sigh of relief as I entered the room and sat down. It was a speaker meeting and did not feel uncomfortable knowing that no one was going to call on me to speak. It felt good to announce my 3 year birthday from alcohol! I really, really needed this meeting! I need to bulk up on my meetings! It's been at least before 4/1/09 since my last meeting. That is way too long for me! I heard so many good things tonight! I need to keep my butt in the rooms of AA, so I can consistently hear the message of recovery! I've been so into my food lately; that I've had this feeling of guilt and remorse for not be sober from the food! I'm not a binge eater or anything like that. I just eat at night to numb out! I'm getting tired of my routine and certainly tired from not being motivated; I need to do something soon to change my habits and tonights meeting was a very good step in the right direction. I will make it to another meeting tomorrow somewhere! This is exactly what I need!
Good Night
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Thursday, November 13, 2008
LOL...
Too funny! I was completely serious when I "crossed the bridge" yesterday and said my prayer! I Cooked Food sems to be bigger than my God! Holy Crap! I need to get a BIGGER GOD!! I'm going to meditate on that later today!
I woke up with a bigger carb hangover than yesterday! SNAP! I'm feeling better now that I made some Pomegranate juice with some apples and had my morning coffee! It's another new day! Another chance to start over, again! I feel strong and well now. We'll see what the rest of the day brings. My daughter has another pizza party tonight for football. I don't plan on partaking. My plan is to fast ALL DAY long!
TBC....
I woke up with a bigger carb hangover than yesterday! SNAP! I'm feeling better now that I made some Pomegranate juice with some apples and had my morning coffee! It's another new day! Another chance to start over, again! I feel strong and well now. We'll see what the rest of the day brings. My daughter has another pizza party tonight for football. I don't plan on partaking. My plan is to fast ALL DAY long!
TBC....
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Crossing the bridge!!
I went for a walk today during lunch. It was a beautiful day. I was very inspired listening to Bono speak on call to action in Africa! I recently re-subscribed to Ted Talks podcast. I love listening to smart people speak about various issues of the day!
I had a slight bread hangover this morning from the homemade cinnabuns my wife made for my daughter's birthday. I intentionally over did it to drive home the point of what how I don't want to feel. Granted I've been doing this for the last couple of years. I'm really ready to be done with this off & on approach to cooked foods!
During my walk today, I crossed a bridge that I used as a metaphor for change in my life! I crossed this bridge to a new life! A life full of raw foods that enrich & nourish my body and soul! A life that has meaning & purpose! One that is full of love & gratitude for everything & everyone I come in contact with!
Several years ago I was on this very bridge when a train came. The bridge was too long for me to go anywhere once I realized the train was coming, so in fear, I braced myself for the impending passing of the train. It was quite thrilling as I sat at the very side edge of the bridge and the train rumbled pass me! OMG!! Since then, I haven't crossed the bridge until today! I knew I'd be safe if a train did come! So I crossed the bridge and stopped to say a prayer when I got the center! I prayed for strength & courage as I turn a new leaf into my new life!
I'm so grateful for today! I'm so grateful to have my health, family, job, business, knowledge of raw foods and recovery!
Update: "Ahhh....snap"!! I fucked up! Oh well! Another day, another day sober from alcohol! At least I'm sober from alcohol! Food is a completely different story! It's just like me to be so strong & inspired during the day, but OMG, I accidently left a bag of chips in my car, and "BAM" (just like that) the thought occurred to me that it'd be ok, "just one more time"! What's it going to take for me!
I'm not that hard on myself, I'm just documenting what happened today. Originally, I was not going to share and just shut all my blogs down completely, but I know this is good for me to share! It's good for me to put out the universe where I want to go, nutritionally & spiritually speaking!
I totally thought I had this day licked! I juiced most of the day! I was on my way to my kid's soccer practice. Their coach was going to take them out for ice cream. I had some chips the night prior and forgot to toss them this morning and there they were behind my seat at 5pmish this eve! SNAP!! (Trigger) RATS!! I had some cooked vegan food for dinner with my wife, some chips! Went to an AA meeting! Now I'm home updating my day here on this blog! It's ok. I'm going to do wake up and do another day tomorrow!
I seriously know I'll be going to an OA meeting very soon. I need to, at the very least, take addictive eating as seriously as my alcoholism and commit to not eating refined flour and processed sugar--no matter what!! I know WHEN I take that dive, I'll be more apt to stick to raw, because bread is my ultimate love!! I will have several items that I need to abstain from, no matter what! I'll figure that out in good time. In the mean time, I'm good with continuing my AA meetings daily!!
Enough of this...until next time!!
Fresh Out
d
I had a slight bread hangover this morning from the homemade cinnabuns my wife made for my daughter's birthday. I intentionally over did it to drive home the point of what how I don't want to feel. Granted I've been doing this for the last couple of years. I'm really ready to be done with this off & on approach to cooked foods!
During my walk today, I crossed a bridge that I used as a metaphor for change in my life! I crossed this bridge to a new life! A life full of raw foods that enrich & nourish my body and soul! A life that has meaning & purpose! One that is full of love & gratitude for everything & everyone I come in contact with!
Several years ago I was on this very bridge when a train came. The bridge was too long for me to go anywhere once I realized the train was coming, so in fear, I braced myself for the impending passing of the train. It was quite thrilling as I sat at the very side edge of the bridge and the train rumbled pass me! OMG!! Since then, I haven't crossed the bridge until today! I knew I'd be safe if a train did come! So I crossed the bridge and stopped to say a prayer when I got the center! I prayed for strength & courage as I turn a new leaf into my new life!
I'm so grateful for today! I'm so grateful to have my health, family, job, business, knowledge of raw foods and recovery!
Update: "Ahhh....snap"!! I fucked up! Oh well! Another day, another day sober from alcohol! At least I'm sober from alcohol! Food is a completely different story! It's just like me to be so strong & inspired during the day, but OMG, I accidently left a bag of chips in my car, and "BAM" (just like that) the thought occurred to me that it'd be ok, "just one more time"! What's it going to take for me!
I'm not that hard on myself, I'm just documenting what happened today. Originally, I was not going to share and just shut all my blogs down completely, but I know this is good for me to share! It's good for me to put out the universe where I want to go, nutritionally & spiritually speaking!
I totally thought I had this day licked! I juiced most of the day! I was on my way to my kid's soccer practice. Their coach was going to take them out for ice cream. I had some chips the night prior and forgot to toss them this morning and there they were behind my seat at 5pmish this eve! SNAP!! (Trigger) RATS!! I had some cooked vegan food for dinner with my wife, some chips! Went to an AA meeting! Now I'm home updating my day here on this blog! It's ok. I'm going to do wake up and do another day tomorrow!
I seriously know I'll be going to an OA meeting very soon. I need to, at the very least, take addictive eating as seriously as my alcoholism and commit to not eating refined flour and processed sugar--no matter what!! I know WHEN I take that dive, I'll be more apt to stick to raw, because bread is my ultimate love!! I will have several items that I need to abstain from, no matter what! I'll figure that out in good time. In the mean time, I'm good with continuing my AA meetings daily!!
Enough of this...until next time!!
Fresh Out
d
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Not feeling very spiritual
I can never feel the presence of god when I'm over loaded with cooked food! I didn't even eat that much tonight. It was the quality of the food I consumed, not the quantity! Anyhow... more later...I'm off to the shower to freshen up a bit!
I'm feeling really confident that this is it! Tonight is the night I turn a new leaf! I've said this before, but I feel really, really good about my new blog as well as some other stuff I've got going on!
Regarding my 90 meetings in 90 days. I'm going to expand the requirement of the type of meetings to include any 12 step program of which, I plan on making OA, DA, and Alanon meetings. I'm sure the majority of the meetings will be AA meetings. I'll try to get to more OA meetings as well! OA really is a great program for anyone with compulsive or addictive eating habits. You don't need to be a certain weight to qualify. The only requirement for membership is an honest desire to quit eating addictively or compulsively! That's it!
I'm feeling really confident that this is it! Tonight is the night I turn a new leaf! I've said this before, but I feel really, really good about my new blog as well as some other stuff I've got going on!
- I'm going to attempt to do 90 meetings in 90 days!!
- I confirmed an appointment for next Wednesday to pick up a service commitment! I'm going to bring an AA meeting into a group home for young adults once a month!
- I picked up a new AA sponsor. He's going to take me through the steps again.
Regarding my 90 meetings in 90 days. I'm going to expand the requirement of the type of meetings to include any 12 step program of which, I plan on making OA, DA, and Alanon meetings. I'm sure the majority of the meetings will be AA meetings. I'll try to get to more OA meetings as well! OA really is a great program for anyone with compulsive or addictive eating habits. You don't need to be a certain weight to qualify. The only requirement for membership is an honest desire to quit eating addictively or compulsively! That's it!
First Post...New blog
First Post:
Ok…I'm starting a new blog! This one should be more in line with me and who I really am! Doug's Great Big Raw Adventure was a good attempt in it's initial concept, but honestly, it wasn't' a REAL picture of who I am or where I'm at TODAY!
I was only a little honest. I started to get very self conscious after various raw food bloggers had a link to my page from theirs. I was honored and appreciated the link very much but since I've been struggling so much with food overall and other areas of my life, I just didn't write--I did not want to share my SHIT!!
Also, I need to write about recovery from alcohol and my other addictions, including the addiction to cooked food!! At least the title of this blog will give the potential reader a reasonable idea of the content of this blog!
My plan is to be brutally honest about me and my stuff!! I'm hoping to write like nobody else is reading. I'm sure I'll be able to follow through with it because everyone will know upfront what to expect! I will try and have 3 main focus areas: Recovery, Nutrition, and hopefully some Spirituality! I think all 3 go hand in hand and actually compliment each other! But who knows where this can go. Especially if I can finally make some serious progress with my dietary goals! I know I can give up the cooked food. It's just taking that first step that's the hardest.
The truth is, I'm an alcoholic in recovery. My sobriety birthday is 4/01/06. After I quit drinking, other addictions started to manifest themselves into my life—or became more apparent. Like my addiction to bread (flour) . I'm an addict for alcohol, marijuana, cooked food and probably anything that alters my brain and keeps me from getting closer the God of my understanding. I need to talk about recovery! It's the most important thing in my life and needs to be in the forefront of my writings.
Intake:
1 double expresso with h20 & 2 brown sugar packets
1 orange
4 halloween candies
2 handful of organic tortilla chips
3 handfuls of kettle one chips
32 oz lemon water with MSM
Spirlina
Chlorella
E3 live
2T Bee pollen
Bread with cheese & tomatoe
Homemade cinnabun (
9:58pm--Update:
Urgh...OK my tolerance for pain has about reached it's max and I can safely say that tomorrow will be a fasting day! I've said this before, that cooked food is way over rate and I am feeling tired and quesy right now! I wanted to get this first post posted!
I'm excited to start this new chapter. I don't think I'm going to be able to wait for the new year to start my new raw vegan lifestyle once and forever! I don't think I'm going to miss the way I feel currently! I just need to remember this fucked up feeling. Maybe I'll take a picture of myself!
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